Many of us think that attraction or liking someone is purely subjective, however, social psychologists have shown that there are five key factors that can significantly increase your chances of attracting men.

According to social psychologist Robert Cialdini, liking someone is based on –

1. Physical attractiveness.
2. Similarity.
3. Compliments.
4. Contact and Cooperation.
5. Conditioning and Association.

You can be more successful at attracting men if you enhance some or all of the factors above.

Remember however, to only put in the work for a man who is worthy of your affections.

5 Scientific Tips on How to Be Attractive to Men
Source: Attract Men Pictures

1. Physical Attractiveness

People are fond of saying,

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

However, we all do. Social psychology studies show that we sub-consciously associate physically attractive people with positive traits including kindness, honesty, and intelligence. We may not realize that we are doing this, and we may even deny it, but tests show attractive people are viewed more favorably than their less attractive counterparts.

Attractive and well-groomed people are more likely to create a good impression during job interviews, they are more likely to get votes in an election, they are more likely to receive help, and have a greater ability to change someones opinion.

In fact, attractive women generally receive more help, even from other women.

The only case where this does not hold is when both women are in direct competition with each other, for example when vying for the attentions of the same man.

How to attract men 1 – Physical Attractiveness.

Therefore, to get your man, make sure that you are well dressed, and properly groomed. Get your hair styled professionally, because whatever your friends may tell you, scientific studies show that physical attractiveness matters.

Wear a dress that complements your body type and skin tone. Determine which physical aspects of yourself are most attractive and dress in such a way that you naturally draw eyes to those attractive features.

For example, if you want to draw eyes to your face, then make sure to wear looser, more neutral colored clothing. Style your hair up and away from your face, and make sure that you have tasteful but captivating make-up.

2. Similarity

To attract your man, make sure that you are well dressed, and properly groomed.

The second step to attracting your man is to find common ground. Psychologists have shown that we like people who are more similar to us. This may include shared background, culture, hobbies, food, movies, opinions or personality traits.

Car salesmen, for example, are trained to notice details about their customers such as camping gear or golf clubs in the trunk of their car. The clever salesman can then casually mention that he is going camping with his family this weekend, or that he will be leaving work early today to play some golf.

By establishing common ground, you increase the comfort level of your man and automatically make him like you more.

Before going out on a date with your man, do some research on him. Most of us have an online presence nowadays, so do some Google Searches and see what you can find about his hobbies, entertainment preferences, and opinions.

If you have mutual friends, you can also quiz them about him, but only do this if you are sure of their discretion. You do not want it getting back to him that you are too interested in his affairs. This will only make you seem like a stalker, and men usually like to think of themselves as doing the stalking.

How to Attract Men 2 – Similarity
Source: Young Love Pictures

Once you have found some good information about your man, do some research into his areas of interest. Pick ones that can lead to follow-up activities and ensure you future dates or get-togethers.

For example, if you discover that he is interested in Mexican food, you can buy a Mexican cookbook in advance. During dinner, briefly mention that you just got this really good cookbook and are trying to learn how to cook Mexican food.

If he likes watching horror movies, rent a few to watch on your own and talk about them with him during your date. Casually mention that you are planning to go on a scary movie outing with your friends this weekend, and invite him to join you.

Make sure that you are not too direct with these similarities because it will only make it seem like you are trying too hard or are too desperate for his attention. Instead, you want these similarities to come out casually, in a matter of fact way.

A friend once relayed to me, the story of how her boyfriend at the time, mentioned that he liked creme-brulee. Being the industrious woman that she is, she learned how to cook creme-brulee, and made a scrumptious home-cooked meal for him with all of his favorite foods.

Her boyfriend broke up with her soon after.

He thought that she was too needy and should find some activities of her own.

Therefore, you must be careful. Do not cater to your man, but do create some lucky coincidences where the both of you find yourselves engaged in a shared activity that you know he enjoys. He will be more attracted to you, and ask you out on future outings if you create those opportunities for him, and make it easy for him to say “Yes” to you.

Do not cater to your man, but do create some lucky coincidences where the both of you find yourselves engaged in a shared activity that you know he enjoys.

3. Compliments

“What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.”~~[George Bernard Shaw]

Flattery works – on both men and women. Even when the compliments are obvious or untrue, it still works.

Positive comments produced just as much liking for the flatterer when they were untrue as when they were true.~~[Excerpt from Influence by Robert Cialdini]

However, when trying to attract your man, always make sure that you are not too obvious. As with all the previous cases, if you use too many compliments and try too hard, it will seem like you are too needy or desperate for his attention. This is a big turn-off for men.

Do not spend all the time talking. Ask your man many questions, and listen to what he has to say. This information will help you in future dates and listening is a compliment in itself.

Remember that a woman who is willing to listen to a man talk is paying him the compliment of her beautiful attention.

“Few human beings are proof against the implied flattery of rapt attention.”~~[Jack Woodford]

How to attract men 3 – Paying him the compliment of your beautiful attention.

4. Contact and Cooperation

How to attract men 4 – Contact and Cooperation.

This is why people tend to fall in love with their schoolmates or office-mates. In fact, many of us end up spending more time with our office friends than with our significant others. Because of this greater contact, we may end up feeling like we have more in common with our work friends than with our spouse, whom we only see on weekends.

This is one of the key reasons why people cheat.

To attract your man, you want him to become familiar with you in a non-stressful and cooperative setting. Organized dates are fine but a date usually brings with it a variety of social pressures. Taking a group class together, for example, does not have the stress of a date and presents a cooperative activity that will help to increase familiarity and attraction.

Show an interest in your man’s hobbies and ask him to teach one of them to you. Pick something non-competitive, that you will be fairly good at. This provides an opportunity to get to know one another in a friendly setting.

Note that choosing a cooperative and non-competitive activity is extremely important because studies also show that contact in a high-stress, competitive setting will actually increase animosity rather than attraction towards you.

To attract your man, you want him to become familiar with you in a non-stressful and cooperative setting.

5. Conditioning and Association

You have probably seen those commercials of beautiful women with cars or beautiful women dancing and drinking beers. What do those beautiful women have in common with cars or beers? Not very much, except that the advertisers understand the psychological principle of association.

If we see an object, for example beer, that is associated with something else positive, such as a beautiful woman, we will naturally attribute that positive feeling onto the object or beer as well.

Much like the other levers of attraction, this is done subconsciously, so that we are not even aware of its effects on us. However, when you are at the grocery store, you will have a greater likelihood of picking the beer associated with the beautiful woman than some other brand

The same principle works with attracting your man.

Now this does not mean that you should invite a beautiful woman on your date with you, in the hopes of basking in her glory. This will not work because she will be competition, and your man will likely pay her, all of his attention.

However, you do want to associate yourself with activities, people, and environments, which your man views positively.

If he enjoys bowling, then go with him to his local bowling alley. Make sure to take some bowling lessons first so that you can further dazzle him with your bowling skills – just don’t beat him.

How to attract men 5 – Conditioning and Association.

There you have it – five simple ways to attract men.

All you have to do is some research, a bit of grooming, and some planning.

This will put you ahead of the other women who may not be familiar with these techniques that have been proven to work, and to work well by expert social psychologists.

Good luck and have fun attracting men with your new found knowledge!

How easy is it for you to attract men?

Virtual love is virtual by definition, and therefore cannot be real. However, the term is probably a misnomer. Virtual love does not refer to ‘unreal love’ but rather love that develops in a virtual world.

Therefore, the question becomes – can one find love in a virtual world? And if so, are those feelings real or fantasy?

Virtual worlds are fantasy worlds. Some of them are more fantastical than others. Online gaming worlds such as World of Warcraft or Everquest let you become elves, dwarves, or even orcs and let you battle fiercesome creatures including dragons, griffons, and cute little bunnies with wickedly sharp teeth.

Not all virtual worlds are quite that fantastical, some are like HubPages, and they are centered around an activity (e.g. writing) or around a topic (e.g. investing).

What is common with all these online virtual worlds, however, is that they are filled with real people, interacting with each other and forming friendships and possiblyfinding virtual love.

Can one find love in a virtual world? And if so, are those feelings real or fantasy?
Source: Young Love Pictures

Is Virtual Love Real? – Online Dating

Is Virtual Love Real? – Online Dating

Let us first consider online dating sites.

Online dating is becoming more and more acceptable today as people become more comfortable with using computers as a means of communication. Electronic mail, instant messaging, and applications such as Facebook have increased the comfort level of talking with family, relatives, and friends online.

As such applications have become more pervasive, the concept of exchanging textual messages with the people we know has become less foreign and more accepted.

The next step then is to use this convenient form of communication to meet new people for the purpose of dating. This is what online dating sites allow you do.

The big advantage of dating online is that it gives you a large population of people to choose from.

The big advantage of dating online is that it gives you a large population of people to choose from and gives you the ability to ‘test out’ a large number of suitors, Unlike real-world face to face communication, which can be more stressful and demanding, online communication is low-key and gives you time to properly consider and form each of your responses. This will allow you to better impress your date.

Once you have found a likely dating match, you can take the virtual relationship to the next level, which is to set up a face to face meeting.

Clearly love can flourish in an online dating environment. Many people have gone on to have successful relationships and marriages to people that they meet on online dating sites.

The weakness of these online dating sites of course also comes from its key strength. It makes available to you a larger number of people to choose from, but it also does the same for someone who may be emotionally unbalanced. While such individuals also exist in the real world, their sphere of influence is not as large because they only have the people around them to interact with. However in an online dating venue, such individuals can get access to many more people.

Clearly love can flourish in an online dating environment.

Is Virtual Love Real? – Online Communities

However, relationships in more general online communities are a bit different. Strangers meet online, and form bonds, with the expectation that they will never meet in real-life.

In many ways, this last caveat – never meeting in real-life – gives us a lot of freedom. We need not worry about how attractive we are, our age, race, riches,how we dress, or many of the other things that we commonly worry about in real world relationships. We can be whomever we want to be, and explore aspects of ourselves that we may be too shy to reveal in a real world setting.

Some may argue that virtual relationships are more real for this reason.

In virtual worlds we are communicating on a mind-to-mind level without the limitations placed upon us by our physical appearance.

n virtual worlds we are communicating without the limitations placed upon us by our physical appearance.

Not surprisingly, this anonymity can also become a weakness. Some people use this feature to present themselves in a way that will engender pity or sympathy from others and then utilize those feelings to obtain monetary or sometimes merely emotional gain.

Many people who have experienced these bad relationships become disillusioned, and prefer to stay away from forming any ties in virtual venues. There is also a very negative social stigma that is attached to those who have been deceived in this way, because they are seen as naive and foolish.

Confidence tricksters exist in the real world as well, but again, their reach is more limited, and it takes greater effort to deceive someone in the physical world where your appearance can be used to judge you.

Some may argue that virtual relationships are more real.

Is Virtual Love Real?

Is Virtual Love Real?

I believe that most virtual relationships are real – they exist between two real people communicating across a virtual medium. The words come from them, the feelings come from them, the humor, advice, empathy, and sharing all come from real people.

Not all virtual love will last, just like not all love in the physical world lasts.

In fact, it takes a lot more skill and imagination to foster a lasting relationship in a virtual world because there are few visual cues, and no ability to touch and feel each other.

However, you are more free in a virtual world because you are protected to some degree by the shield of annonimity. In addition, because there are so many people that you can reach, you are more likely to find someone who shares more of your interests than the people you meet in the real world.

Is virtual love real? Yes – in many instances it is.

If you give it the chance, virtual love may even be deeper than real love.

Is virtual love real? Yes – in many instances it is.

Would you rather be an assertive woman or an obedient woman?

Would you rather have a relationship with an assertive woman or an obedient woman?

In most cultures, assertiveness is valued a lot more than obedience. This is certainly true with men. Obedient men are usually considered weak or womanly.

When it comes to women, however, things become less clear.

Obedient Women vs. Assertive Women – Which is Better?
Source: Assertive or Submissive

Obedient Women, Culture, and Religion

Many Eastern cultures value obedient women a lot more than assertive women.

However, obedience in this case is more of an expectation or societal norm, rather than a choice. Obedience is not seen as anattractive quality that everyone should aspire to; certainly the men do not aspire to it. Instead, it is something that a good woman should be.

Western cultures have the same bias with regards to assertiveness being better than obedience, but there is less pressure for women to be obedient. Strangely however, Western religions, in particular Christianity and Judaism have similar expectations of obedience from women as do Eastern cultures.

Even more surprising is that Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism are more in step with Western culture, and do not demand obedience from their women.

Assertive vs. Obedient

Many Eastern cultures value obedient women a lot more than assertive women.

Being assertive is a more valued property than obedience because evolutionary wise, assertive societies are more successful.

Assertive societies with strong leaders tend to gain more territory, capture more resources, and spread more of their culture than obedient or passive societies, which are more likely to become conquered.

As a result, our prevailing culture, is one that values being assertive over being obedient.

Assertive men and women are more likely to acquire and accumulate more resources than obedient men and women. Since evolutionary success is commonly used as a yardstick for measuring our lifetime success, it is the assertive people who win.

Assertive women vs. obedient women.

Is an Assertive Woman Superior to an Obedient Woman?

Are assertive women superior to obedient women?

Because of this evolutionary perspective, many of us see assertive women as being superior to obedient women.

However, human society has progressed beyond this evolutionary directive that is fueled by conflict and survival. Today, we live in relativepeace, and most nations no longer harbor ambitions of land expansion and conquest. Instead, nations try to cooperate and trade for the betterment of all.

Since we are moving away from a model of conflict to a model of cooperation, it makes sense to re-evaluate the roles of assertive women and obedient women in our society.

Advantages of Obedient Women.

Advantages of Obedient Women

1. Obedient women have a larger social circle.

Obedient women tend to have a larger circle of friends. They are less threatening, and much more enjoyable as companions because they are willing to go with the flow. In contrast, an assertive woman will create more strife and dissension.

As a result, obedient women have a larger support system, and are arguably happier because of the friendships that they naturally attract. Whenever there is a crisis, she can easily turn to her friends for comfort and support.

2. Obedient Women are compatible with more men.

Our prevailing culture is such that men are expected to lead and women are expected to follow. This usually gets enforced since childhood from children stories, school dynamics, as well as parental and societal expectations.

As a result, there are probably more assertive men, than there are obedient men.

Obedient women can get along with both types of men. Most obedient women prefer relationships with assertive men because they will complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. However, because they are more easy going, obedient women can also forge successful relationships with more obedient men.

Assertive women, on the other hand, are likely to clash with assertive men, and as a result, have a smaller number of compatible mates to choose from.

An obedient woman has a natural Zen-like quality which makes her life more worry free and happy.

3. Obedient women live a life with fewer conflicts.

Obedient women have a Zen-like nature. For the most part, they are happy to let others set the agenda, and they are happy to play a role in making that agenda a success.

This does not mean that the obedient woman will just take on a supporting role. In fact, she may assume the bulk of the heavy lifting to ensure that the plan succeeds.

An obedient woman prefers to take things as they come rather than try to bend things to her will. This natural Zen-like quality makes her life more worry free, and frequently leads to greater happiness.

However, as pointed out bycindyvine, this assumes that both people in the relationship care enough for each other that they want to keep mutual hurt to a minimum.

Unfortunately, if an obedient woman enters into a relationship with a self-centered male, who is also abusive, then she may find herself trapped under his barrage of attacks, with little alternative but to accept it.

In contrast a more assertive woman would have ended the bad relationship early on and saved herself a lot of pain.

4. Obedient women are able to live in greater harmony with the world.

Obedient women are usually better at resolving conflicts and living in harmony with the people around them.

In life, there will be many instances where conflict occurs. During times of conflict, somebody has to back down and take a more passive position. If this does not occur, the conflict will escalate and end up hurting everyone involved.

Opting to back away from a possibly explosive situation does not make an obedient woman weak. Rather, it is the most expeditious way to bring the conflict to an end and restore harmony with the least amount of emotional damage.

It is a mistake to assume that obedient women do not have any needs or goals of their own.

They simply value harmony over conflict and are willing to put their own egos on hold to achieve that harmony.

Obedient women are able to live in greater harmony with the world.

Advantages of Assertive Women

1. Assertive women are more successful at accumulating resources.

Advantages of Assertive Women.

Assertive women are better at accumulating resources including money, fame, and material goods. There is a lot of competition for resources, so it takes an assertive personality to not only acquire those resources, but also to hold on to them.

Assertive women tend to hold high-powered jobs, and are comfortable leading large teams of men and women towards their vision of what is right.

2. Assertive women are more likely to bring on change.

Assertive women have their own vision of how things ought to be. They are also willing and able to do whatever it takes to achieve that vision.

When an assertive woman disagrees with current societal norms, she will not back down or be held back by criticism. Instead, she has the confidence and spirit to forge ahead and fight for change.

In the end, assertive women have done much to create a less repressive social environment for women everywhere. It is a good thing that we have women who will speak out for themselves and for all other women.

3. Assertive women are confident and sure of themselves.

Assertive women do not look to others for confirmation and approval. They are less concerned about what others think and want, and more concerned about their own needs and goals.

Confidence begets more confidence.

As a result, assertive women are able to fight through great adversity, and emerge with greater strength than before.

Assertive women are confident and sure of themselves.

Assertive Women vs. Obedient Women

So which is better – assertive women or obedient women? Which should you aspire to be? Or which should you look for in a relationship?

Most women are not one or the other. They usually have elements of both. However, their temperament, upbringing, and experiences may push them towards one end or the other.

As with all things, balance is crucial. We do not want to be too assertiveand not give way when we should. We also do not want to be too obedient so that none of our own needs and goals are met.

Every individual has a different equilibrium assertive/obedient level, and this level may change as we change and the people around us change.

What is most important is to always be open to both of these qualities, and not just accept the flawed belief that being assertive is always superior.

Assertiveness and Obedience – Which role is better for women in today’s society?

However, this is no longer the case. As we have seen withFacebook, Twitter, HubPages, and more, online social interaction has become the norm.

Online dating is no longer something that lives in the fringes of society. In fact, many of us have probably joined an online dating site or are currently thinking of joining one.

Not surprisingly, online dating shares many similarities with real-life dating. However, there are some differences. By recognizing and using these differences you can do to put yourself ahead of the pack and become an online Don Juan.

Successful Online Dating – How to Be An Online Don Juan
Source: Couple Dating Pictures

1. Online Dating Profile

After you join an online dating site, the first order of business is to write an online profile. Many people will consider their skills, interests, and strengths; then highlight those qualities that they deem to be most important.

However, that is often not the most effective approach.

Just as a work resume should speakof your target employer, your online dating resume should speak to your target online dates.

Write for your audience, not for yourself.

1. Online Dating Profile.

Before rushing to write up your online dating profile, first do some research.

Consider your prospective audience. Read up on the profiles of the men or women that you would most like to date. After going through a few of those, a pattern will usually emerge as to their interests, as well as likes and dislikes.

Once you have this, you are ready to start writing your online dating profile.

• Highlight aspects of yourself that are important not to you, but to your potential dates.
• Take your time. Your online dating profile is the first thing that someone sees about you. They will decide whether to start a conversation with you based on this profile alone. Therefore, it is very important to make a good first impression. 

  Do not rush. You will find more success if you initially put in the time to create a targeted and effective online profile.

• Do not lie, but try to put in things that both you and your target audience have in common. There is also nothing wrong with expanding your interests and trying out some of the things that your potential online matches enjoy. Read some new books, listen to new music, and watch a few movies that you have never seen before.

Birds of a feather flock together.

The more common ground you find, the better your chances of impressing your target dates and getting the first foot into the door.

Make your online dating profile more about your potential dates and less about you.

Make your online dating profile more about your potential dates and less about you.

2. Online Dating Plan

Birds of a feather flock together.

Have an online dating plan.

In online communication and encounters there is usually a greater time-lag. This can work in your favor if you use that time to prepare and formulate a good plan of action.

While creating your online dating plan, keep the following in mind –

• People respond best when you take the initiative and provide them with clear next steps to act on. Do not just leave an online conversation hanging. Always plan for follow-up conversations, meetings, and activities. If you take the initiative, you will find that people are more likely to follow.

  However, do not be overly pushy. This will only make you look desperate or dangerous, and neither will enhance your online dating prospects. If he/she is not interested in what you have to offer, then find someone else.

• Some people are naturally witty and charming. However, wit and charm can also be achieved through research and pre-planning.

  Have a plan on how to woo your date. Come up with a list of topics that you think he/she will enjoy and make sure you have good stories, jokes, or one-liners that will surely impress your date. In many ways, dating is like chess or having a debate. You anticipate your opponent’s moves and come up with clever counter moves. In this way you appear charming and witty because you know exactly what to say, and when to say it.

2. Online Dating Plan

3. Don’t Just Rely on Text

In online conversations, there is a tendency to rely solely on text.This is a mistake.

Relevant images and video will quickly catch a person’s attention and enhance your online conversation.

Impress your date with your creativity and do not be afraid to express yourself through words, pictures, music, or videos. Once, one of my dates composed me a song, and played it for me on the piano. That was incredibly attractive and I still remember that day!

Don’t just rely on text. One of the big advantages in online communication is that you can seamlessly speak through art, music, and videos. Be creative and use these other forms of expression to your advantage. This will set you apart from your competitors.

3. Don’t Just Rely on Text.

Successful Online Dating

Online dating success is not magic. To do well, all you need do is –

1. Put some time into creating an effective online dating profile that is targeted towards your audience.
2. Take the initiative and create a good online dating plan. If you provide good suggestions for followup conversations and meetings, it will be easier for your date to say Yes! Make your date an offer that is difficult to refuse.
3. Be creative. Step out of the box and speak with images, music, and video.

Most of all, remember to have fun and stay positive.

With online dating, it is easy to get discouraged if you are turned down or don’t get many responses. Online encounters are more fleeting in nature, and it is easy to lose confidence and give up altogether.

However, remember not to take it personally.

Online dating success is more about research, planning, and presentation than about you. If you are not performing well, go back and do more research, reformulate your plan, and rework your presentation. As you do this, you will get new data and learn which techniques work best for your potential dates.

The longer you stay in the game, the more you will learn, and the more successful you will become. Before you know it, you will have become an Online Don Juan.

What are you waiting for?? Get out there and have some fun!

Remember to have fun and stay positive.

On first blush, it is difficult to resist the men who look like Adonis. They are tall, dark, handsome, look great in both Speedos and a tux, and have abs that are to die for.

But ladies, remember this, the looks fade very quickly.

Once Adonis gets a 9-5 job, and settles into middle age, things will quickly begin to change. He will spend all his free time sitting on the couch, watching sports while eating wings and drinking beer. The once six-pack abs will quickly become a single large keg.

His hair will thin, his butt will sag, and soon all you will be left with are your tarnished dreams and faded wedding pictures.

If Adonis is not our Prince Charming, then who is?

The best men to marry are the ones who treat you well, have great financial potential, as well as a fun and compatible personality – in that order.

Best Men to Marry.
Source: My Blog Art

Best Men to Marry 1

Men who treat you well.

You want to find a man who appreciates you, and who will put you above everything else, even himself. You want to find a man who is willing to share the house chores, willing to make home coffee for you in the morning, and willing to be a better man for you, so that you can hang-out online and write silly articles about who are the best men to marry!

Avoid the control freak at all costs.

If a man wants to control little things like which restaurant you go to, what you order for dinner, what music you listen to in the car, then it is time to take that emergency phone call and run like hell.

If you think that you can change a control freak, then you are sadly mistaken. Control freaks will only want to control you – not the other way around. Men with control disorders will often become verbally or physically abusive to get what they want.

Best Men to Marry – Men who treat you well.

Avoid Narcissus.

Narcissistic men focus all their attention on themselves.

Narcissistic men focus all their attention on themselves and have very little left over for anything else. They will constantly expect you to worship them as they worship themselves. If you get busy and miss a day or two of worship, your Narcissus will likely look for worship somewhere else.

Bad boys sound like a lot of fun in the pages of a romance novel and indeed they can be fun to date.

However, marrying one will get old after about 10 minutes. A marriage is about give and take, and bad boys by definition only know how to take.

Bad boys sound like a lot of fun in the pages of a romance novel, however, marrying one will get old after about 10 minutes.
Source: Valentine Cupid Pictures

Best Men to Marry 2

Men who are financially sound.

You may think that this is very mercenary of me and totally unromantic, but there is nothing romantic about not having enough money to buy food, or pay the rent. There is nothing romantic about not having furniture and living out of a box with five kids and another one in the oven.

Call me crazy and unromantic, but I do like having a roof over my head, access to food and water, and yes cable television!

Who are these rich men?

According to CNBC, the richest men of 2009 can be found in the health profession. Didn’t your mother always tell you to marry a doctor? Well, sometimes your mom is right.

And it is not just the doctors and surgeons. Dentists, podiatrists, pediatricians, and psychiatrists all earn well over $100,000 US per year. Here are the top five paying professions –

1. Surgeons,
2. Anesthesiologists,
3. Orthodontists (time to get some braces!),
4. Obstetricians & Gynecologists ,
5. Oral & Maxillofacial Surgeons.

All these professionals earn close to an average of $200,000 US per year.

If doctors are not your thing, then there are several other possible alternatives – men of technology, men of science, men of numbers (actuaries), and men of law are also in the top 25 highest paying professions.

Best Men to Marry – Men who are financially sound.

In summary stick to the science and math nerds and you should do well.

If you are in high school, you might want to start cultivating your contacts right now. There are many advantages to starting early –

1. Science and math nerds are really easy to land. After all, they are probably the least popular kids in high school. However, think in the long-term. When they become doctors and scientists, the cheerleaders will be married to fat jocks who work for your science nerd.
2. It is good to have friends with money. Even if you decide not to marry your high school nerd friends, they will be forever grateful to you for being a pal in those difficult high school years. Later on, they can introduce you to their other rich friends.
3. It is good to have a doctor, lawyer, or scientist friend in your back pocket. You never know when you might need one.

Now some of you modern, assertive women may think to yourself – I don’t need a man with money, I can make my own money. True – but then you will have little time to enjoy it. Also, I am allergic to blood, gore, and guts, so for me, at least, medical school is definitely not an option.

Here are some tips on how to attract men and keep them devoted.

Best Men to Marry – Men with a compatible personality.

Best Men to Marry 3

Men with a compatible personality.

Many women look for men who are witty, humorous, interesting, fun, and extremely clever. All these are good to have, but the most important thing of all is to find a man who is compatible with you.

Compatibility may sound boring and really like what your mom would say but hey, we have already established that your mom is sometimes right – probably more often than you would want to admit.

When you live with someone every day, sleep with him, wake up with him, brush your teeth with him, constant jokes can get annoying, and witty one-liners will quickly begin to grate on your nerves.

Really you want a man who will be there with you to take care of business, and who can complement your weaknesses with his strengths.

You want someone whom you can talk to about anything and everything. You want someone you will have fun with doing things that you both enjoy. You want someone that is compatible.

I suppose I could use the term ‘soul-mate’ to make compatible sound more romantic, but really, storybook romance is highly over-rated.

Who are the best men to marry?

This made me think about online scores in general, and in particular about online dating scores.

“Love has no boundaries“.

Maybe love does not, but dating and relationships certainly do.

Even though we like to think otherwise, we almost always date people who are from the same social rank or class as us. Most of the people that I have dated share the same education, religion, political affiliation. financial status, and social status as I do.

This is why online dating sites use these properties to calculate their match criteria, or more crudely put, their online dating scores.

Online Dating Score
Source: Masquerade Pictures

Frequently, we date people from school or from work,
Source: Young Love Pictures

Indeed this scoring system is normal and built into any dating process.

We are more compatible with those who are similar to us, and there is a higher likelihood that we will beattracted to them. After all, these educational, religious, political, financial, and social choices are the choices that we have made for ourselves, so presumably we think that they are better than the alternatives.

Online dating sites use these match criteria to help you pick potential mates because they generally work well. In online dating sites there are many participants who come from all walks of life, with a large range of backgrounds, beliefs, and social standing.

Filtering on some criteria is absolutely necessary to cull the herd.

Online dating sites use these match criteria because they generally work well.

Online Dating Score

When you consider online dating from a rational standpoint, it makes sense to date within your score class.

After all, if you date below your score, then are you not selling yourself short?

Everybody has a mental model of their own intrinsic value that is probably based on beauty, intellect, money, fame, charisma, social skills, technical skills, and much more. These are the attributes that we consciously or unconsciously use to evaluate others as well.

Different people will have different priorities as to which attributes are the most important, and indeed some people may apply different priorities to themselves than they apply to their chosen mates.

However, for an online dating transaction to succeed, both parties must agree on the price/score, and that is why most people date within their own score class.

Dating within your score need not always mean that you and your partner are equal in all attributes.

You can trade off one attribute for another. For example, older, successful men often date younger beautiful women. In this case, the man is trading off success, for beauty and the woman is trading off beauty, for success.

What is your online dating score?

Online Dating Scores and Social Pressures

Online Dating Scores and Social Pressures

However, even in cases where these trade offs are equitable and successful, one is still open to much criticism when perceived to be dating outside of one’s rank.

“She is just an air-head and a trophy wife; not at all worthy of a successful man.”

Successful men are a success because they are good at making effective life decisions, so I would not worry about their decision making capabilities with regards to their choice of women. They are getting something in return for what they are giving up. It is just a difference in priorities.

Our online dating score priority may change as we get older, and as our own circumstances and temperaments change. For example, many men go through “mid life crises” that temporarily or permanently change their relationship priorities.

This is sometimes why people divorce, cheat, or break up from bad relationships. Their priorities of valued attributes have changed, or their own attributes have changed and they no longer match their partner in dating score.

Dating Above Your Score

Since we are opportunistic beings, we will always be looking to date above our own score.

In fact, the more we date above our score, the better our ability to raise our own ranking. But since bothparties in the dating transaction will generally be trying to accomplish this…

Is dating above your score even possible?

Indeed it is. A transaction, including an online dating transaction, is never equal on both sides. Each side has imperfect information about the other. Each side may be in different emotional states, which can affect their decision making process. Proper marketing and communication can also do much to inflate your perceived online dating score.

However, dating above your rank is always a risk, because it is generally predicated on an artificial online dating score of one or both parties.

The factors that contribute to these artificial dating scores may change quickly, even in the short term, and this will lead to difficulties in the relationship. Your partner may discover more information about you. Your partner may get over his/her previous bad relationship and may no longer feel as vulnerable. Your partner may discover that you are all talk and no action, all shell and no substance.

If you continuously date above your score, and continuously fail, this may seriously affect your self esteem, which will cause a fall in your own dating scores.

Is dating above your score even possible?

Raising Your Online Dating Score

Raising Your Online Dating Score

Online dating scores are based on many attributes but they all can be grouped into three key categories –what you have, how you look, and who you are.

The more resources you have, the higher your online dating score. You can increase your dating score by getting the education and skills needed for acquiring these resources. When you are young, you generally have fewer resources, which results in a lower online dating score.

Once you finish school, and get a nice-paying job, your dating score increases significantly. In fact, some professionals who marry early will leave their spouse after a time, because their dating score may now be much higher than that of their spouse. Marriage laws in certain countries help to mitigate this disparity.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover“.

We shouldn’t; yet many of us do. We can’t help it. It is in our DNA.

The more attractive or beautiful you are, the higher your online dating score. Part of how you look is based on what you are born with, but there is much that you can do to either enhance or degrade what nature has given you. That is why cosmetics, clothes, dieting, and cosmetic surgery are such big money making businesses.

Finally, what is on the inside also matters, including personality, charm, and charisma. This is also an area where you can change and improve. Positive communication, self confidence, and tasteful humor will all help to raise your online dating score.

Online Dating Score – what you have, how you look, and who you are.

While physical attractiveness and money certainly elevates your chances of attracting a woman, they are not the only things that matter. There is actually ascience behind attracting women. Understanding this science will help to improve your success with women.

In the book Influence, Robert Cialdini laid out five aspects of social attraction –

1. Physical attractiveness.
2. Similarity.
3. Compliments.
4. Contact and Cooperation.
5. Conditioning and Association.

You can be more successful at attracting women if you enhance some or all of the factors above.

5 Psychology Tips on How to Be Attractive to Women

1. Good Grooming

There is no denying that physical attractiveness matters while trying to woo a woman.

In fact, social psychology studies show that we sub-consciously associate physically attractive people with positive traits including kindness, honesty, and intelligence. Often, we may deny this, but the fact remains that we have been conditioned through evolution and popular media to value external beauty.

The details of what is considered handsome or beautiful may change from culture to culture and from time to time, but the fact remains that appearance will always play a key role while trying to attract a woman.

Physically attractive and well groomed men are more likely to receive help, more likely to make a good impression, and more likely to succeed with women.

How to Attract Women – Good Grooming

While trying to attract women, make sure you are well dressed, and properly groomed. Men tend to sweat a lot more than women, and a smelly, sweaty man is a big turn-off. Therefore, make sure you not only look good, but also smell good.

Apply antiperspirant and cologne as appropriate. Make sure to take a shower before you dress, and do not use too much cologne. Visit locations that are cool or have air-conditioning so that you present yourself in the best light.

If you are sticky and sweaty, your date will not want to come near you no matter how handsome you may look.

If you are sticky and sweaty, your date will not want to come near you no matter how handsome you may look.

2. Similarity

Another way to enhance your chances with women is to look for similarities.

Studies show that we like people who are more similar to us. For example, when in a group, we will tend to mix with people who share similar background, culture, hobbies, food, movies, opinions or personality traits.

By establishing common ground, you increase the comfort level of your date and automatically make her like you more.

Before going out with the woman of your dreams, do your homework. Visit your woman’s Facebook, mySpace, or HubPages profile and learn a bit more about her. Do some Google Searches and see what you can find about her hobbies, entertainment preferences, and opinions.

Casually quiz mutual friends about her interests but be sure not to cross the line between admirer to obsessed stalker.

How to Attract Women – Similarity

3. Flattery

Make your woman feel special, unique, and attractive by keeping your eyes and attention always on her during the date. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a guy with an active roving eye who cannot even give a woman the courtesy of his attention.

By constantly looking at other women you are telling your date that she is not as interesting or pretty as the other women around you.

In addition, remember that flattery works! Even when the compliments are obvious or untrue, it still works.

Positive comments produced just as much liking for the flatterer when they were untrue as when they were true.

~~[Excerpt from Influence by Robert Cialdini]

However, be careful not to be too direct with your words. Telling a woman that her ample breasts set your loins on fire may not be what she wants to hear. To you, that may seem like flattery, but to the woman that is just another man crassly expressing his own need to use her body.

Make your woman feel special, unique, and attractive by keeping your eyes and attention always on her during the date.

Set yourself apart by making sure that your flattery is indeed flattery from a woman’s point of view. If you want to compliment her on her appearance, do not be generic so that your praises may apply to any woman in the room. Be as specific as you can and weave her eyes, hair, beautiful dress, and voice into the poetry of your words.

Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.

~~[Dale Carnegie]

The aim of flattery is to soothe and encourage us by assuring us of the truth of an opinion we have already formed about ourselves.

~~[Dame Edith Sitwell]

Do not spend all the time talking. Ask your date many questions, and listen to what she has to say. Women like talking, so getting your date to talk about herself is paying her the wonderful compliment of your handsome attention.

Do not spend all the time talking. Ask your date many questions, and listen to what she has to say.

4. Contact and Cooperation

How to Attract Women – Contact and Cooperation

According to Cialdini, we are more comfortable with, and like things that are more familiar to us.

The more contact a woman has with a man, the more familiar she becomes with him, and the more likely she will be attracted to him.

This is why people tend to fall in love with their schoolmates or office-mates. Many of us spend more time at our office than at home. As a result, we sometimes feel like we have more in common with our work friends than with our spouse, whom we only see on weekends.

This is one of the key reasons why people cheat.

To attract a woman, make sure there is frequent contact. Invite her on group outings so that you get to spend time with her in a non-stressful and cooperative setting. Find out what her hobbies are and join her on some of the activities that she loves most.

However, make sure to pick a cooperative and non-competitive activity. While it is true that contact and cooperation can enhance attractiveness, studies also show that contact in a high-stress, competitive setting will actually encorage animosity rather than attraction towards you.

To attract a woman, make sure there is frequent contact.

5. Conditioning and Association

Why are there so many beautiful women in television commercials? What do these beautiful women have to do with chocolate, cell-phones, or beer? Not very much, except that the advertisers understand the psychological principle of association.

If we see an product, for example beer, that is associated with something positive, such as a beautiful woman, we will naturally attribute that positive feeling onto the product as well.This happens subconsciously so we may not even be aware of it. However, the next time we go to the store to buy beer, we will likely pick the brand that is associated with the beautiful beer babes,

Association can also help you with attracting women.

In general, you want the girl of your dreams to associate you with happy, positive feelings. Taking her on a vacation is a good way to help strengthen a positive association. When a woman already has a positive association with a certain location or place, some of that positive good feeling will transfer to you as well.

That is why gifts can also work. Gifting a woman with flowers, chocolates, or something else that she views positively will get her to associate those positive feelings with you. By the same token, gifts only work if the recipient truly desires what is given.

To get the biggest bang for your buck, listen to your woman carefully so that you truly understand her heart’s desire.

In general, you want the girl of your dreams to associate you with happy, positive feelings

When trying to attract women, it is good to be rich and handsome. However, those things are not necessary if you understand the science behind attraction and use it to your advantage. If you have a plan and are willing to do some research, grooming, and listening, you will be well on your way to becoming a successful Don Juan.

Good luck and have fun. But the art of attracting women is also about timing.

You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.

~~[Excerpt from Gambler by Kenny Rogers]

How easy is it for you to attract women?

Is Facebook the Devil in disguise? Why?

Is Facebook the Devil?
Source: Masquerade Pictures. Art by ShibaShake.

1. Facebook lowers the productivity of our nation or even that of the world

Facebook lowers the productivity of our nation.

The hard-working American worker is under siege. The perpetrator? Facebook. Workers pulling all-nighters hunched over their computer screens may just be social networking on Facebook. The problem, in fact, is worse than it first appears. The Sydney Morning Herald reports that Facebook may be costing Australian businesses $5 billion per year.

Could Facebook also be the reason for our current economic crisis, massive national debt, and falling GDP? The verdict is still out.

Some may remember that the same arguments were used against electronic mail and instant messaging. Now, they are touted as tools for increasing productivity. I suppose the verdict will be out until the next innovative idea/scapegoat comes along.

2. Facebook exposes our children to smut

Who will protect our children from evil-doers like Facebook, who is constantly shoving smut and inappropriate content into their young, and innocent faces. We are beginning to see a collapse in our society’s moral values as evidenced by the increase in crimes committed by minors. We are indeed at the beginning of the end.

The price of freedom of speech and information is having to deal with things that we may not agree with, may not like, and may not deem appropriate. Smut has been around since time immemorial – before Facebook, before HubPages, before the internet, and before television.

Who will protect the children? Parents, teachers, and other responsible adults in the child’s life. Spend quality time with your child on the internet and direct them towards constructive pursuits; there are many.

Facebook exposes our children to smut.
Source: Red Devil Pictures

3. Facebook disconnects us from the real-world

And does Facebook really connect people? Doesn’t it rather disconnect us, since instead of doing something enjoyable such as talking and eating and dancing and drinking with my friends, I am merely sending them little ungrammatical notes and amusing photos in cyberspace, while chained to my desk? A friend of mine recently told me that he had spent a Saturday night at home alone on Facebook, drinking at his desk. What a gloomy image. Far from connecting us, Facebook actually isolates us at our workstations.

~~ Excerpt from “With Friends Like These …” by Tom Hodgkinson, The Guardian, Monday January 14 2008.

If you go to Tom’s page, he announces in his Web Feed that he has given up electronic mail as of March 7th, 2007. There will always be people like this who have never used Facebook, and are probably uncomfortable with the notion of the internet.

From my own experiences with Facebook, Hubpages, and others, participating in these online communities actually help with social disconnect issues. For example on Hubpages, many users talk about facing alienation in real life. Sharing their stories, and getting support from an online community, helps with that alienation.

Any technology can be misused. A bad addiction to online communities may alienate a person from the “real-world” and in the worst case, bring about grave, real-world, consequences. Such cases, however, are extremely rare, which is perhaps why they are so news-worthy; like human deaths resulting from dog attacks.

Just because some bad can happen, does not mean we should stop using it. Car accidents happen a lot more frequently, but last time I checked, cars are still in use.

Facebook disconnects us from the real-world.

4. Facebook exposes us to stalkers

Facebook is stalker heaven. Remember the ex-boyfriend that never really got over you?; well your every move is now open to him with just a few clicks and a Facebook account.

To share in the benefits of a community, we must share a part of ourselves. If we use sound judgement on what information we publicize, the danger of an online stalking, which is already small to begin with, becomes negligible.

Are we fully protected? No.

Just as we are never fully protected in real life. But that does not mean we should become social hermits. The benefits of belonging to an online community, such as Facebook, often outweigh the dangers.

If you do not feel that is the case, you are free to not participate in Facebook, electronic mail, and the internet in general.

Facebook exposes us to stalkers.

5. Facebook causes us social stress and emotional pain

This New York Times article describes how people endure greater social stress and emotional pain as a result of Facebook.

Many users may feel pressured into accepting “friend invites” from people whom they may not regard as friends. Others are pressured into a popularity contest where they must madly gather as many friends as possible so as not to lose to their peers. And finally, Facebook makes breaking up extremely hard to do.

Facebook users describe in gory detail how losing an ex becomes a public embarrassment because now, it is plastered all over Facebook. To add insult to injury, the victim is tortured with minute-to-minute updates of their ex’s successful social calendar.

I do not know about you, but this really sounds like high school all over again.

Socially awkward situations occur in real life, and so do popularity contests. Facebook is a social tool that may be used in a variety of ways, including those listed above. It is true, that a large social network, like Facebook, may exacerbate some of these awkward and sometimes painful social situations, but it really comes down to how you choose to use it.

For example, users may choose not to publish their “relationship status”. Removing ex’s from your friends list is only a click away and you can always take a vacation from Facebook and join Hubpages.

Facebook causes us social stress and emotional pain.

6. Facebook tracks our personal information and uses it for nefarious purposes

All the information you enter into Facebook, including your name, address, e-mail address, interests, job history, education history, relationship status, and much more may be turned against you and used to profit multi-national conglomerates. You may not realize this but by using Facebook and agreeing to their Terms of Service, you are signing away your identity.

The multi-nationals will monetize your friendships, wreak your life, and who knows what else.

This is an old argument. Information is collected about us whenever we use any online service including search engines such as Google and Yahoo!. In fact, even if we were internet virgins, we would still be tracked.

We may not think about this, but a lot of our personal information is already a matter of public record; including our name, social security number, date of birth, housing history, marriage history, etc. The information may be kept in different government agencies, but companies have developed technology to integrate all this information together and are selling it to those multi-national conglomerates.

With, or without Facebook, “real privacy” is a thing of the past.

With, or without Facebook, “real privacy” is a thing of the past.

Is FaceBook the Devil?

MizB sums it up very well –

“In a few months, we will be commenting on the next “Devil”…but really, lets be honest with ourselves. That “devil” resides in our self indulgence, and not on our computer screens.“

~~[MizB]

While some of the extreme arguments against Facebook may sometimes seem silly, there is an important underlying issue that we should keep bringing up and keep discussing.

David Brin captures this well in his book, The Transparent Society.

In the Information Age to come, cameras and databases will sprout like crocuses — or weeds — whether we like it or not. Over the long run, we as a people must decide.

Can we stand living exposed to scrutiny… our secrets laid open… if in return we get flashlights of our own, that we can shine on anyone who might do us harm? Even the arrogant and strong?

Or is an illusion of privacy worth any price, even surrendering our own right to pierce the schemes of the powerful?

There are no easy answers, but asking questions can be a good first step.

.~~ [Excerpt from The Transparent Society by David Brin]

Is FaceBook the Devil?
Source: http://shibashake.com/blog-art

When she thinks about ending the relationship, he will promise to change, promise to be more caring, promise to no longer cheat on her. These offers of reconciliation are frequently too compelling to resist, and she commits to the relationship, possibly even to a marriage.

Once she has committed, she will often convince herself that she made the right choice. After all, she has committed and wants to honor those commitments. She may even go so far as to change her own actions, and her own expectations, in order to maintain consistency with herself and her relationship choices.

Low-balling is a very general strategy that can be applied to a wide variety of circumstances, including to convince a woman to stay in a bad relationship.

Bad Relationships - Do You Stay or Do You Go?

Low-balling – What Is It?

Low-balling someone means you deliberately make them a low initial offer or bid, in order to get them to commit to a transaction. Once they commit, you can later retract your low-ball offer.

Low-balling is a common psychological strategy used by marketers. It is most often associated with car salesmen who get customers to commit to buying a car by first making them a low-ball price offer. Once the customer has committed to the purchase, the car salesman will withdraw his low-ball offer by citing various external factors including an onerous boss, clerical error, bank restrictions, and other semi-plausible reasons.

Why We Stay in Bad Relationships

According to social psychology literature, we like to act in a consistent way with the decisions we have made. Once we have made a commitment, we tend to stick to it, because people who do not stick to their guns are often viewed as weak minded and untrustworthy.

That is why low-balling works in the sale of cars and that is why it works in bad relationships. Even after an abusive partner retracts his previous offers and promises, most of us will still stay in the relationship because we are already committed, both in our mind and in time spent.

Why We Stay in Bad Relationships - once committed, people will go to great lengths to honor their commitments.

Bad Relationships and Women

Low-balling is not just a strategy used by men, it is also used by women.

Many women will devise a range of low-balling techniques, including lying about a pregnancy in order to get a man to commit to a marriage. Just as in the case of the car, once committed, the man will be less likely to renege on the proposal even after it is revealed that she is actually not pregnant.

How Do I Get Out of a Bad Relationship 1

Dealing with Bad Relationships

Initiate a trial period.

If your partner promises to change, and you believe him, then initiate a trial period, instead of making a full commitment. Once you make a full commitment, you will be battling your own preconditioned psychology to stay consistent with that commitment.

By agreeing to a trial period, you are not committing yourself to anything long-term; however, you are also giving your partner a chance to turn over a new leaf. Sometimes, his promises to change may actually be sincere.

How Do I Get Out of a Bad Relationship 2

Get your partner to commit to his promises.

Instead of having the low-ball/commitment strategy work against you, turn it around and let it work for you. Your partner will be more likely to keep to his promises if you get him to commit to them.

While he is making his promises to you, ask him to write it down and sign his name to it. If he is truly sincere, he should be willing to do this. Psychologically, writing down his promises will make a big difference in terms of helping him to keep them.

Social psychology studies on commitment show that we are more likely to keep our promises if we commit to them in writing.

Once there is a written record, there is no way that we can go back and plead ignorance, or twist our previous words around to suit our own purposes. A written record can be shown to others, and is a very powerful tool to motivate us to stay consistent with our previous promise or decision.

In fact, this is a big part of the marriage ritual. It gets us to put our promises down on paper. It also gets us to declare our promises in public, which further strengthens our need to stay consistent with that commitment in the future.

Dealing with Bad Relationships - Get your partner to commit to his promises.

How Do I Get Out of a Bad Relationship 3

Curb your dependence on him.

During the trial period, it is crucial to keep yourself from becoming overly dependent on him, either physically or emotionally.

Another common practice in the low-balling strategy is to strengthen your commitment by increasing your dependence on the item.

In the case of purchasing a new car, the salesman may let you take the car home and let you use it for a few weeks before the transaction is finalized. This encourages you to integrate the car into your life, and become dependent on it. When it comes time to finalize the transaction, you will very likely stick to your purchase even in the face of broken promises, retracted offers, and a higher price.

The same applies in a relationship.

Dealing with Bad Relationships - Curb your dependence on him.

How Do I Get Out of a Bad Relationship 4

Evaluate his progress every day.

Do not let things slide, especially initially. Evaluate the situation every day and consider if he is making the necessary changes that you need. Try to be as objective as possible, and carefully consider your own happiness and quality of life. Bring out the written list and determine if progress has been made on each of the areas. It usually helps to have a second, third, and fourth opinion, so get your trusted friends involved.

If you feel that he is not the right man for you even if he has put in the effort, then it is still best to end the bad relationship and move on.

If you are unsure after the trial period is over, then extend the trial period. However, this time, set up some goals for the end of that period.

You must be strong. If nothing has changed, or not enough has changed, at the end of the second period, then you must walk away from the bad relationship.

The low-ball strategy can be applied in a variety of situations to get you to commit to an action that you otherwise would never agree to. Be on the look-out for it, and for men and women who prey on us by using our penchant for honoring our commitments against us.

If nothing has changed, or not enough has changed, at the end of the second period, then you must walk away from the bad relationship.

That is certainly true. You want to wear something that will fit the occasion that you are attending.

Clearly, turning up in an evening dress to a swim party, or turning up in lingerie to an evening charity event is inappropriate.

However, given a particular event, there are usually a range of dress types that you can go with.

A common, but important event is the dinner date –

To impress your date, should you dress flirty or dress conservative?

How to Dress for a Date

On the surface, it may seem like the seductive dress is the way to go.

After all, isn’t a racy dress what men prefer on their girlfriends? Wouldn’t showing your wonderful aspects make all the other men jealous, and make your date appreciate your significant physical assets?

If this is so, and you have the confidence for it, you would want to go with the maximal skin dress option. Only cover the areas that you absolutely need to in order to slip by nudity laws in public places.

However, dressing too provocatively can definitely backfire on you.

Why?

Isn't a racy dress what men prefer on their girlfriends?

Dressing Sexy – The Bad

Dressing Racy - The Bad.

1. Gives everything away for free, and leaves you with nothing to hold in reserve.

In many ways, dating is a transaction between two parties. You meet in neutral territory, and decide if the looks, personality, money, and whatever else that comes with your date is worth your own time and effort. The date is a success when both parties determine that what is offered is worth further time investment. If you reveal all your physical assets in the beginning of the evening, there will be nothing to fall back on for the rest of the date – except your personality.

Instead of showing your entire hand right off, it may be better to keep certain things a mystery. In this way, you can make the evening more interesting for everyone with light teasing and flirting.

In the movie Memoirs of a Geisha there was a scene where a more experienced geisha was coaching a younger geisha on the art of seduction. She was explaining the right way to pour tea for their gentleman escort. While pouring tea, let your kimono sleeve slide back ever so slightly to reveal the gentle slope of your wrist. Then have it slide forward again so that the instant of revelation is valued even more for its beauty and brevity.

It is human nature to want something more if we cannot have it. If you dress too provocatively, there will be no mysteries left for your date to want to explore.

The trick is to entice by showing some of what he is missing, without actually giving it to him all at once.

A racy dress gives everything away for free, and leaves you with nothing to hold in reserve.

An overly flirtatious dress may lower your general value.

Wearing an overly flirtatious dress may lower your dating score because it implies that you are willing to give away parts of yourself to everyone for free.

This has several bad effects. Most importantly, your date may feel that he has a higher intrinsic value than you do, and therefore you are not really worth his long-term attentions. While he may be interested in what you have to offer, it will be a short term affair because he will always judge himself to be superior to you.

If your dress is too racy, your date may also expect certain after-dinner activities. After all, if others can get an eye-full without even paying for a full dinner, he should be able to get much more after paying for a scrumptious meal, right?

3. May show off your less than desirable aspects.

Racy dresses may sometimes show off more than you want.

None of us are perfect. There are always physical aspects of ourselves that we may not find all that attractive. The art of dressing for a date is to emphasize our attractive aspects, and hide our less attractive characteristics.

In our quest to show skin, we may reveal parts of ourselves that detract rather than add to the whole package. We may reason that this is acceptable, because what it shows is much greater than what it detracts.

However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Your date may think differently.

Short Red Dress or Conservative Red Dress - Good and Bad.

Dressing Conservatively – The Bad

There are some risks to overly seductive dressing, but that does not mean we should go totally conservative either. Here are some reasons why –

There are some risks to overly seductive dressing, but that does not mean we should go totally conservative either.

Dressing conservatively may indicate that you are trying to hide yourself. Perhaps you are not wholly comfortable or happy with the way you look and therefore choose to show as little of yourself as possible.

Your date may see this as a symptom of low self esteem.

2. Dressing conservatively may indicate discomfort with your own body.

Dressing conservatively may also be a result of embarrassment or even shame over one’s body.

Judaeo-Christian religions tend to view the act of lovemaking only as a means to procreation. Indeed many believe that deriving any pleasure from bedroom intimacy is a sin. Given this type of morality, it is not uncommon for some to feel shameful of their nudity. A symptom of this shame is to cover themselves up as much as possible so that there is nothing revealing about their form.

If you dress too conservatively, your date may infer that you may not be skillful or indeed even very interested in being intimate.

3. Dressing conservatively may not catch the eye of your date.

Dressing conservatively may not show yourself in the best light, or may not make you stand out. This may ultimately result in fewer successful dates, and lower your chances of finding a good life partner.

Failed dates or indeed just fewer suitors may also lower your self esteem, which will in turn make it more difficult to have successful dates, and it may become a very unhealthy vicious cycle.

Dressing conservatively may not catch the eye of your date.

How to Dress for a Date

Personally, I feel it is better to err on the side of racy. That way, at the very least, you will stand out.

Get a second, third, fourth or even fifth opinion to make sure that you have not crossed the line from alluringly racy to cheap racy.

Finally make sure to do some homework on your date. Dressing makes a big difference, but being an enjoyable companion for the evening will also count for a lot.

Racy or Conservative - How Should You Dress for a Date?